It’s A Simple Truth

Currently sitting in my dad’s private accomodation in the Emergency Room. Now, before you get your panties in a bunch, spare me your opinions on what I “should” or “shouldn’t” be doing in this moment. We all cope with fear differently and I’m here and present, but I have a moment of calmness and writing is my outlet.

Let me paint you a picture…

I enter the ER. Soft peach colored sweat suit with purple shoes from Denmark. I’m looking fly and I know it.

Woken up by my momma at 5:50 am cuz my poppa wasn’t feeling good. Heart attack style symptoms. Not a heart attack though. Thank God! Jumped right out of bed and into the car to follow the ambulance. I didn’t change, I just sleep this fly.

Anyhow, I digress. The reason for this blurb is to share the short story of how a few minutes ago I was grabbing coffee, and as I walked my curly haired little brown self back to the private room to meet my mom and dad, these two cops in the hallway yelled out at me.

My heart accelerated and my body flooded with heat. My feet shifted to flight mode, just in case. Out of the corner of my eye, I sized up the situation, “Two tall, big boned white officers. I can escape ‘em. I’m definitely faster,” were my exact thoughts.

My brain registered what they yelled out, “Hey! Where’s ours?” They asked in a joking manner. They were referring to the coffees I held in my hands. I sighed with relief. I could lower my guard, even if just a little. I was not in danger. In an attempt to calm my own nerves, I bantered back, “Mmm, I forgot your donuts too.” Classic. Bringing even more flyness to myself.

They laughed and I nervously chuckled. I gave a half forced grin and walked away, slipping into the privacy of my dad’s room. This is the reality for many of us dark skinned folks when in the presence of cops. They DO NOT bring a sense of safety. No matter how friendly. It’s a simple truth.

-Angela Christina Christy Ruiz

Black and white photo of self in mirror: By Coco Olakunle